| hey, my new fucking journal is SUKYRTOPMAS |
[21 Dec 2003|05:06pm] |
hey, i noticed the live journal fights going on and shit. i just want to say that i never tried to ever contol anyone so if anyone thinks i did, im sorry.
i really was or am just trying to look out for my band mates best interest. and if i wasnt doing a good job, it was or is their job to let me know it. so anyone who is saying, oh, sam fucked me over. then its your own damn fault for not saying anything. like if i am making a bad decision, evan will say, sam, maybe we can do this to make it better and ill listen.
i only "control" or lead people who cant do it themselves. i find that nick has great vision and ideas, but he might not follow up on them without me, so thats why i make the decisions. if there is something wrong with them, hopefully he or whoever will speak up. if not, then theres nothing i can do, im only human.
anyway, im fucking exhausted from working and shit and i miss Kortnie to death, wow.
i am so fucking tired of everything. i didnt even enjoy catcher in the rye cause i was rushed. i hate school. i just want to be with her.
i love her so much, shes the only person whos always there for me and makes me happy. our relationships the only thing i can count on right now, besides me and Bens of course. everything else just seems to get good, then fall apart and good again and so on.but then again, thats life right?
thats all
ps. evan and nick, we are totally recording acoustic in january, it will rock. we should practice next week or after my birthday....take care guys.
pps. anyone notice that i wrote this entry on purpose like holden speaks, mizing up his thoughts and trailing off. a little christmas present from sam to all his livejournal veiwers, READ CATCHER IN THE RYE IF YOU HAVENT
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[07 Dec 2003|10:00pm] |
this is my last post under samqualspoop, i had to be cool and get a new journal. its sukyrtopmas. im going to keep all the friends i have on live journal now that i still talk to regularly. no offencse if i didnt add u to my new journal. just ask me and ill add you. later.
THANKS FOR THE CODE ERYN!
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[05 Dec 2003|03:03pm] |
hey there. if anyone has a code i kinda want a new livejournal. yes, because everyone else is doing it. duh.
i am down to 183.6 FUCK yeah. and practice last night was great, we finished the new song w/ out ev, but still.
and thats all, later!
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| watching "the fabulous life of...." justin timberlake |
[03 Dec 2003|11:02pm] |
hey. ok i am back up to 187.8 but i was terrific today so it should go back down!
and i finally beat my writers block and wrote a fantastic little number called "in her kiss, i taste a revolution". its looking really good so far, a little short but thats a pretty easy thing to fix. me and evan talked about it for awhile and we have SO many ideas. practice tomorrow should ROCK!
im going to bed now, im just so pleased i beat both my weight thing today and my music thing. damn! and fuckin evan wrote a few nasty part too which will probably become a really good song.
im super super psyched about things now, woo hoo! night everyone
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[02 Dec 2003|05:35pm] |
hey i have been BAD! god fucking damnit. i was supposed to be good today too. this morning, yea thats right 186.2! fuck yeah 1.6 pounds less than yesterday. BUT, i ate so much fod today, my own healthy lunch at school. but i had to eat a chicken sandwich and fries too. then went to adams, i hate him. cookies, popcorn, cokies, popcorn more cookies, and a ham and cheese sandwich. then my mom gave me rolls and this like chicken dish thing. fuck me! why cant i just be strong.
ok, tomorrow will be better, i promise. i have a new plan for lunch. eat slow so it lasts. and dont get bored because then i eat!
i have to go, im so fucking angry.
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[01 Dec 2003|11:24pm] |
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music |
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new blink, track 5 (orgasm) |
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hey. i tried the diet. it worked. the exercise did not. i didnt do anthing cause i went to the dentist and felt like hell, so i slept.
anyway, i havent showered since saturday but i will tomorrow morning.
weight count now is gross. 187.8 but we'll see tomorrow. that IS after all that food though so its understandable, im so fat ugh.
anyway i told kort i was going to bed and then i signed online for a moment, i lied haha sorry baby.
ok then i am burning an alkalien trio cd for someone and going to bed.
weight loss goal: 150 pounds. i can do it, exercise must be done
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| "my life just got a whole lot better" |
[30 Nov 2003|12:33am] |
ok so as of monday. im going to start a very serious diet and exercise routine. thats basically what i did before to loose weight and if worked. then i stopped for awhile and i haveent lost any weight since. but im going to star all over again.
wake up
take a shower
fruit and coffee for breakfast
water and something else for lunch
small snack after school
2 mile run
50 pushups
50 crunches
50 sit-ups
50 repitions of progressing weight
then shower
and bed
and do that at least every-other day. that is what i did before to loose fucking 50 pounds and i can do it again. if only i could just remember to brush my teeth and floss and i would be in ideal condition.
wish me luck
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| thank you ben |
[29 Nov 2003|11:02am] |
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mood |
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artistic |
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music |
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video of congratulations smack and katy |
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You're Generally Indie. There's nothing wrong with
this. You like music all over the map and
aren't adversed to listening to some Top 40
here and there. You just know to comment that
The Neptunes are the best producers around
right now. You don't feel the need to debate
constantly with other music geeks, because you
know that Pavement were the best band of the
90s.
You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla
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| shit ass fuck! |
[18 Nov 2003|11:58pm] |
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mood |
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high |
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music |
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fugazi tape with ben |
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tomorrow is a huge threat, sam, continue being fat OR dont eat a lot of food. well im going to fucking beat thanks giving.
im a little frustrated right now about something but i am also pretty happy, its the best feeling in the world to feel bad for a lot of people for not having something so wonderful that you have. im thankful for music and stuff and of course my terrific friends from shows, good good friends, and my brother and family and stuff.
But, im really just thankful that I know Kortnie. i can talk to her about anything and shes so smart and beautiful and fun and creative. she gets along with everyone she meets, everyone loves her. and i just feel bad for people who dont have someone like her in their live like I do. I love you so much, thanks for always being there for me.
So today can be good because i can remember that and more...but Marc cannot come to practice i dont think so i am pretty ticked off but who can get mad when your healthy and alive and have so many people around that care about you, im a pretty fucking lucky dude.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
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[09 Nov 2003|07:49pm] |
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wow. there are many videos i have yet to see. kazaa has nothing and my computer cant handle anything. im too tired to function. night
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[09 Nov 2003|07:49pm] |
hey, not much has been going on. im still trying to find a new job. the band is now called, Sincerely, An Arsonist. we are probably sticking with it, we change names a lot but whatever we'l just stick with it even if we get sick of it. we have to. evans working so practice will suck thursday. i dont know, im not mad at him but im fucking PISSED about him not being there thursday. im so fucking angry, it was going to be a great practice. and thursday is our practice day for a reason, its good for us all. and now evan works on thursday. FUCK. wed and fri are no good and mon or tues would mean we couldnt get there till like 6. whatever. this fucking blows.
oh, and the clock on my journal is wrong....
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| breakfast at tiffanys |
[09 Nov 2003|07:49pm] |
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music |
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third eye blind and black eyes |
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hey thats right, im listening to breakfast at tiffanys by deep blue something....anyone know if thats who originally wrote it? anyway, the point IS that my computer officially has sound coming from it! i still want new speakers keyboard and mouse for christmas but thats another story.
im really missing Kortnie right now, and i cant see Q and Not U with her and ben and joe jennings so im rally bummed. but im going to work instead and make some money.
i tried getting a job at thai cape but no luck, they never called so im going to go in and ask about it. then im trying two more resturants, cause thats where i want to work, in food. not cause im fat, but i understand and am interested in how resturants operate and i want to be a part of it all.
the winds are fucking feirce out on the water. me and ben watched dead poets society last night, it was ok. and i watched phonebooth, i liked that too. alright im off to dinner with my family, except katie and mom but its ok, they are at music lessons. bye everyone
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| my poem |
[09 Nov 2003|07:49pm] |
hey this is to treos, Ben and any person that ever went to a The Receiving end of sirens show.
Dance To Kill
do you remember watching me, loose my mind?
I'm drinking sweat before the end of your introduction
thats when I was happiest, and now your going
to take it away, ill try to forgive you...
If i break my neighbors jaw, he'll break my nose in return.
and after the fractures the tears and the screams,
we are closer than ever before.
my arms around my new found brothers, we scream till we cant hear
Why couldnt you just wait? or why couldnt you be
just another stupid face? i would kill for this not to end
and im sure you all feel the same. Ill be there for you all....
...no matter the name. but TREOS is why i came to love myself.
So what do you say maestro? would you give me one more dance
to remember till i die? well that just might be tonight
thanks for making me happy and helping me love right.
my family my friends my love, and my brothers that i fight.
thanks to everyone at the shows and to treos. its true that being at your shows with all my friends and family really showed me how loved i am and it makes me want to keep on living. life is so tiring and sometimes i just want to sleep forever, but ill always wake up for at least a few hours to see you guys play. its funny that this silly little band of a few guys playing horrible music means so much to me but it does...or did..this feels wrong but someday it will feel right. thanks so much.
later
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| rock |
[09 Nov 2003|07:49pm] |
hey. if anyone wants my poem. ill type if up just comment with your email or whatever and ill give it to you, i know a few have asked for it.
the show was sweet. ben and treos rocked. thanks to the security for not breaking the show up. thanks to Eryn and Chrissi for such a fun time.
and of course thanks to Kortnie, i love spending time with you always but its just that much more special when we are surrounded by practically all of our friends. i love you and i hope you feel better.
ill post later and be more clear i have a lot on my mind right now and im trying to get shit done. take care everyone.
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